The large light filled room was white; the cool light from the blue sky gave the space an underwater crystal sharpness, I was wearing a flowing blue and white halter dress, music played in the large foyer. I looked over to the musicians and one of them was my ex-husband. I looked around and walked to a white wall, it was covered in a stucco, giving it a pebbly feel. The wall separated me from the band and David. I slid down the wall and sat down, hiding from him. As I sat down, he leapt over the wall and sat next to me. He was dressed in blue and white, if anything this dream had a color theme.
He held a plexiglass box, similar to the ones I had to fabricate at Art Center during my undergrad years. It was filled with blue and white bits of paper.
“She’s had two affairs already.”
I thought “Now you know how it feels.” I felt relieved that now I was not crazy anymore. My past hurt feelings had been validated by his, his present mood was the footnote to my story.
“My father died from a liver cancer. You know he died?”
Yes, I did. He died about 5 years ago.
“I still love you.”
I was not taken back by what he just said, I was comforted that I was loved, and could be loved. And that there was forgiveness on both sides.
He then started to lick my face.
“Party like 1999….” blared from the clock radio and I opened my eyes and stared out the window to the blue sky.

Image: Ophelia Chong / Searching